After a long, long day I am back to what it seems like is my place to live. I look around the bathroom, about regular size. Above the sink, dirty blurry windows, tiles are missing here and there, the corrosive pluming barely works, some might call it vintage, I call it old. I look around thinking... this is falling apart. I refresh myself before to step into what now I might call it a room.
I look around, old wood floors, on each step I make the sound of wood cracking, in front of me there are big windows ceiling to floor framed in wood; some squares of glass are broken, some others can’t see trough. I wonder if someone at the other side can see trough, I shake my head and I look behind me, as a bed a mattress, the sheets are there, and a blanket. The bed is a mess, it shows that haven’t been made in days. Some old lamps on the side, but these ones have something especial, I plugged them into a dimmer, to feel like a little more like home. High ceilings in this room, bringing a feeling of emptiness, at the top of the ceiling looks dark, the light from my lamps doesn’t go that far, neither what comes trough the windows.
Hi, you are here!, nice to see you..... What? Are you staying here?, you can’t (I tell him scared), she will be coming, you can’t stay here (I am nervous), She doesn’t know I am gay, and if she finds out........ No!, you don’t understand, you must go!. She will be upset, not good will comes from it. You have to go!...........
A sudden realization of reality hits me.
I am wrong, no one is coming, she doesn’t live here. She is far, far away. (This realization calmed me down, making me feel little better). I stand up from the only place to sit, the bed; as I stand I say: “I can’t believe, I had everything, and I lost it. I lost it all. I have nothing now”.
As I turn, you tell me. That’s it! You can’t live like this, that’s enough. You grab a piece of old falling apart baggage, and put my belongings in there. Closed under your arm you tell me, “You come with me, you come with me now!”.
In my mind, I tell my self I can’t go, this is my place now, I had everything, and I lost it. This is all what I have. I look at him to tell him my thoughts. He doesn’t let me; he grabs my hand and pulls me with him. I knew, I should go with him.
Wait!, I need to grab few things, I grab a marble square, a coaster that means something to me. I wrap them into a piece of fabric. Then I walk behind him. Nothing else here is mine.
The room manager, steps in front, wondering what is going on. We walk around him, and left the room.
At this point, I woke up. It was a dream, it was just a dream; but this dream left me with a strange feeling trough out the day. It was a dream.
